This is my first article for the newsletter since the death of my son as I have been struggling on what topic to write about and the nagging feeling that I have nothing to offer right now.  As I have told Pastor Halverson I do still continue to feel compelled to keep the Health Ministry going in our church. Thus why not write about my struggles as they may help someone else.  The biggest question has been how can I live with my grief?  Some practical suggestions that I have found are:

1. Rely on friends.  We tend to want to be stoic or not want to bother others or make others uncomfortable but if someone is offering to help it may be their way of showing they care.  Friends, be aware that the grieving person may not know what they need or want.  Try to anticipate needs or just be there.  

2. Take care of your health: Grieving can wear you out.  Your body needs sufficient rest, exercise and proper nourishment more than ever.   

3.  Postpone major decisions.  

4.  Be patient with yourself: Grief often lasts longer than people realize.  One scientific study of bereavement explained the grief process as follows: "The bereaved may swing dramatically and swiftly from one feeling state to another, and avoidance of reminders of the deceased may alternate with deliberate cultivation of memories for some period of time." 

5.  Make allowances for others: Try to be patient with others.  Realize that it is awkward for them.  Not knowing what to say, they may clumsily say the wrong thing. 

6.  Get back into a regular routine: you may have to push yourself at first to go to work, to go shopping, or take care of other responsibilities but structure will help. 

7.  Do not be afraid to let go of acute grief: Letting go of your intense grief does not mean that the love of the deceased is diminishing. 

8.  Do not be unduly anxious.  You may find yourself worrying but the Bible counsels to take one day at a time.

            These suggestions certainly do not take the grief away but do allow me to continue on without fearing that I am losing my mind.  I would like to thank everyone for their support, understanding, and continued prayers through the difficult time. 

Part 6 for December 2008

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Just in time for the holidays the last step in stress management is eating right and exercise.  Many research studies have indicated that the healthiest diet in the world is one that is very similar to what Jesus may have eaten.  This diet places an emphasis on unprocessed foods.  Complex carbo-hydrates are at the base which includes brown rice or whole-grain pasta, and whole-grain bread.  Next are fruits, vegetables, beans, other legumes, and nuts.  The third level is olive oil, which replaces margarine, butter, shortening, and other oils.  The fourth level is cheese and yogurt.  The fifth level is fish.  The sixth level is poultry and eggs.  The seventh level is sweets which should be saved as treats and the last level is red meat, which is consumed a few times a month. 

            To adjust your diet decrease or eliminate all processed foods.  Cook and bake with whole-grain products and eat more fresh fruits and vegetables, beans, legumes and nuts.  Substitute virgin olive oil for butter, margarine, salad dressings, and other oils.  Avoid all fried or deep fried foods.  Limit cheese intake to small amounts. Eat low fat plain yogurt, add fruit.  Choose fish and poultry over red meat, and eat meat sparingly.  Cut out sugary sweets.  Slow down your eating, savor your food, and enjoy talking with family and friends.  Drink eight glasses of water a day. 

            It is also important to exercise regularly.  More than half of all American adults are either over-weight or obese, and approximately 25 percent of our children are either overweight or obese.  Obesity is a risk factor for heart disease, hypertension, diabetes, arthritis, some forms of cancer, and other degenerative diseases.  Both diet and exercise are essential to a healthy lifestyle.

            Some of the many benefits of regular physical exercise include: promotes psychological well being, reduces stress and anxiety, helps maintain ideal weight and improve muscle tone, improves cardiovascular capacity, increasing energy and promoting more restful sleep, increases the flow of lymphatic fluid, eliminating cellular waste and bad cholesterol, improves circulation, digestion and elimination, lowers risk of developing blood clots.  In fact few things can do more to promote good health than adequate physical activity. 

            It is important to note that prior to any diet or exercise program it is important to undergo a thorough medical exam.  Your physician can help you design a program that is most beneficial to you.

            There is no question that eating right and exercising regularly improve health and reduce stress.  In fact, for complete and total health, you cannot have one without the other.  We know this to be true, yet most of us fail to eat the right foods consistently or get sufficient exercise regularly.  Often we change our diet or begin an exercises program but fail to sustain either.  When it comes to diet and exercise, we must start doing what we known we should do; do it regularly; and keep doing it.

            If you want to manage the stress in your life and lead a healthier life, you cannot ignore your eating and exercise habits.  Adopting the practices and suggestions in the series on stress management requires a commitment to change, a commitment to be all that God created you to be, and a commitment to yield your desires to God’s instruction.  God, in turn, will honor your heartfelt commitment by giving you more energy, better health, inner peace, and a greater sense of well-being. The choice is yours.  I hope that you choose health.

Carla Szklarski, R.N.

parish nurse